This Is Who I Am
by Nonsense-Shit
Summary: Petra Ral is on a mission to assassinate Erwin Smith but Levi Ackerman proves to be a strong distraction.


**Requested by anon ~**

**Prompt: Alright. Assassin AU where Petra has to disguise herself herself as a man and she's out to murder Erwin Smith. But along the way (while dressed as a man), she meets Levi Ackerman, who's gay. She doesn't think much of him until she realizes Levi is a close acquaintance to Erwin, so she uses him. So they both talk, and they both eventually fall in love w/ each other. Then Petra reveals herself to be a woman, but Levi's feelings don't change.**

* * *

Petra accepts the token in her hand without any questions; questions will only make them doubt her abilities and she's not about to let some pompous pig's mouth run loose.

"Make sure the money comes in on time," is all she demands before disappearing behind the shadows, without a sound, without a face.

* * *

Petra decides Levi Ackerman is an asshole upon their first meeting but Peter deems him as a pathway to their goal so he smiles politely, making sure his grip on their handshake is firm but not overbearing.

"Nice to meet you, Mr Ackerman."

Levi gives no greeting, his mind calculating the amount of shitty papers he has to burn today, and what hair spray Peter is using; there's a hint of flora yet a tinge of spice lingering, how interesting. He decides Peter is an OK guy; his dressing is impeccable though not as smart as his, hair handsomely styled, he does have a cute face, and best of all, Peter's shorter. Extra thousand points.

* * *

"Still breathing?"

"Fortunately," Peter says sacarstically, hands still furiously typing away because time waits for no one when Levi Ackerman is the one in-charge of the department. The fucker dumped a month's worth of shit on his desk before leaving for that conference trip with Erwin, and he's back already, looking like he went for a vacation trip instead.

"Good, because I have more stuff for you to do."

Petra considers the amount of backlashes if she backs out of this job and bites her tongue, figuratively.

* * *

It's the annual company dinner. Instead of frolicking around with undesirable company, Petra could be straddling Erwin right now, with a sharp blade at his neck, ready to slice a big, fat piece of meat for dinner. But because of a certain Levi Ackerman, Peter is forced to keep his blade concealed, and his eyes smiling because Levi will kill him if he fucks up relations.

Levi has done enough, he does not need another helper.

Erwin praises Peter at the end of the night and tells him a promotion might be in lieu in the near future.

Petra can smell the cash approaching but there's still a long way to go.

* * *

"Erwin's having a BBQ party at his house next week. You should come."

Of course Peter accepts the invitation, only out of politeness; Petra can't wait to get a first-hand look at Erwin's soon-to-be graveyard.

It's huge, way bigger than what was in the blueprint she dug up 7 months ago. There's an additional dining room, 3 more guest rooms, 2 more servants, and she frowns internally at the demolition of his old private wing.

She has more work to do now but it will have to wait because Levi is screaming for Peter to get the fuck out of the toilet.

"Isn't there another toilet like 3 minutes away?" He grumbles as he got shoved out of the way as Levi barges his way in, slamming the door in his face.

"Emergency business!"

Peter still has trouble forgetting the squelching sound two hours later as they down the liquor Erwin generously provided for his party.

* * *

Levi frowns at the leave application form sitting on his table. "If this your way of getting revenge on me for kissing you last week, gotta say I'm regretting it now."

Peter assures Levi by saying it has nothing to do with it. It actually has something to do with it. Petra can feel the strings of attachment forming slowly. Knowing it will only be an unnecessary distraction and obstruction in her job, she has to finish everything swiftly.

Tonight.

Petra curses beneath her mask when she spies another being in Erwin's private room through her sniping scope. According to the vague schedule she heard from Levi, Erwin Smith usually sleeps by 3 in the morning. And he hardly has anyone staying over, so why of all nights, tonight, Erwin fucking Smith is with his fiancee.

They should at least close those curtains, for fuck's sake, she grimaces.

* * *

"You look like shit."

"Coming from you, that's the highest honour I can get," Peter laughs humourless into his glass of scotch before downing it and slamming it back onto the gleaming marble top. "Why are you here anyway?"

Levi slides into the high stool beside Peter and waves the bartender over, "Scotch on rocks," he orders. A quick glance to his left, he quickly amend his order, "Make that two." The bartender starts on the new order, leaving his customers to their own devices. "Your text said you needed a drink so I assumed you'll be here. And I'm right."

"Yeah yeah yeah whatever," he mumbles, swiping the new glass of amber liquid as soon as it is placed in front of him."

They continue downing glass after glass without a thoughtful care for their livers, the occasional mundane questions popping up every few minutes with the standard reply of single-worded answers coming from both sides.

Petra does not know who ended up paying the bill but she knows the warning bells going off in her head is a sign she needs to heed when she realises Levi is kissing Peter passionately against his sleek Audi. Peter shoves Levi away and run without turning back, without seeing the hurt in Levi's glazed eyes.

* * *

"Smith is still alive."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious."

Petra can tell her sarcasm isn't appreciated but it helps relieve the stress she's been feeling lately. The deadline is approaching way too quickly and Erwin Smith has yet to have a hole in his head. If this keeps up, she will be the one having a hole in the head.

The static over her earpiece clears up and the next few words she hears freezes her up from inside out. "If Ackerman is a distraction, we'll get rid of him for you."

All she hears for the next 30 minutes is the obnoxious horning coming from the ugly streets below her apartment, as if it is trying to wake her up and face reality.

* * *

Peter hands in his resignation letter 3 days before the news of a car plunging down a cliff was broadcasted. He does not show up to Erwin's funeral even though Levi told him Erwin would have wanted him there.

Not if he knew who sabotaged the breaks, Petra thinks wryly.

Though the casket is empty as they lower it down into the earth, Petra receives the money after she threatens to reveal the numerous affairs they have while their wives are busy shopping for branded goods.

* * *

Levi is heartbroken; he's been buddies with Erwin since high school, even had a relationship at some point. Though it didn't work out in the end, they remained as friends, helping one another at work, at disgusting social-climbing parties, at contract-signing meetings with slugs and pigs, they did almost everything together.

Erwin has left. Levi is torn apart but it is not reflected in his face. Not when Hanji has half her face hidden from view, the black umbrella doing a good job concealing the sadness and emptiness in her eyes. Not when the dubious priest recites the last of prayers. Not when the soil blocks his view of the shiny black coffin. Not when everyone has left the cemetery, except for him, still standing before the gravestone, hearing the pitter patter of rain hitting his umbrella as he silently recalls the memories he has with Erwin Smith in them.

The memories soon have flickers of autumn in them. Bright spots of sleek, auburn hair and snarky remarks making the side of his mouth curl just the slightest. Though they've only known each other for 20 months, Levi feels Peter understand him the most, right after Erwin.

Different from Erwin's calculative, precise words, Peter wearing his emotions on his sleeves was a fresh change in Levi's life. Nobody actually dared to question his life until Peter Rollen was assigned to be his subordinate. Levi almost sent a basket of flowers to thank Erwin for spicing up his life unintentionally.

But now, Peter is gone too.

Without any warning, he finds the envelope on his desk one morning. Finding out what it was, he speed dials his assistant but all he got was an invalid number message so he slams his phone back onto the table, the screen cracking a little at the force. Rushing to his address is futile too for it has already been vacated for the next potential tenant.

He demands HR for Peter's information but nothing comes up even after his contacts run them through, as if Peter Rollen was only a figment of his imagination.

* * *

Levi doesn't believe so. The messages in his phone and leftover sweets left behind at his cubicle tells him otherwise so he begins to search for a certain Peter Rollen.

He didn't get any result until 8 months later, where his eyes caught the same shade of auburn heading into an alley of a small village located in the outskirts of a bustling town. Abandoning all thoughts, Levi runs after the figure, hidden away from the glow of the setting sun. He considered grabbing their wrist but halts his actions abruptly when he sees the person wearing a dress.

The Peter Rollen he knows does not own a dress, and he doesn't walk with swaying hips but the height, build, and hair is too much of a coincidence so he tests his luck.

"Peter."

It only happens for a slight second but Levi captures it all the same, the person in front of him freezing before continuing walking as though they didn't hear their name.

"Peter!"

* * *

Petra Ral never expected Levi Ackerman to come searching for Peter.

"Please don't tell me he knows I'm the one who sent Erwin to his death," she prays as she dashes through the alley at top speed. She has already left her shady past behind and started a new life; Petra doesn't need anything else to drag her back. Petra hears him cursing behind her and is thoroughly surprised when she feels a grip on her wrist, prompting her self defence mechanism to kick in and send him flipping over her shoulder with practiced ease.

"Fucking hell," Levi curses when he regains the breath knocked out from him when he landed back first on the ground which was littered with small stones.

Petra is caught between helping Levi up or running away. She ends up doing the former.

"I'm sorry," she apologises as she grabs his hand and pulls him up, enjoying the brief warmth of it before she retracts. "Instinct told me to flip you so I did."

It is the truth anyway.

"You're Peter Rollen, right?"

Petra stares at him, maintaining a face of confusion to the best of her abilities but it doesn't work out. Levi can tell the flicker of recognition fleeting across her face when he mentioned Peter Rollen.

"Why did you leave?"

"I'm sorry but I do not know who is this Peter Rollen you speak of. I must get going before–"

"Quit lying, Peter! You suck at telling lies, in case you didn't know."

"And I'm telling you I do not know who the fuck Peter Rollen is! Now move one side before I make you!" She screams back, getting ready to shove him aside if he doesn't move his sorry ass. What she does not expect is for Levi to pick her up like a sack of potatoes and run into the nearby fields.

"What the hell?!"

* * *

There's nothing surrounding them other than tall grass and darkness, the moon their only source of light when he finally lets her down. "Now that we're all alone, scrap the lies and just admit you're Peter Rollen."

"And how many times do I have to tell you I'm not Peter Rollen?!"

Petra's about to pull her hair out from how stubborn her captor is; she'd rather deal with the butcher at the market than this thick-numbskull who is bent on making her admit she is Peter Rollen.

"If this is the way you want it to be, fine!"

Petra's short-lived happiness died the moment Levi smashes their lips together, both of them falling quickly into habit of seeing who can last longer without breaking the kiss. Her moans quickly snaps her out and pushes them apart. "Stop!"

"You. Are. Peter. Rollen," Levi insists. Only Peter's kisses can evoke such feelings from him.

"Fine! I am Peter Rollen. That's what you want to hear, right?! Are you happy now?! Or are you fucking disappointed because Peter Rollen is not who you thought he was! He was never real! Petra Ral created Peter Rollen for her amusement! So go back where you came from because Peter Rollen will never appear again!"

Levi is stunned, to say the least, at Petra's outburst. Talking about wearing their emotions on their sleeves.

He waits until Petra calms down enough for him to approach her again without him seeing stars again. Wrapping his arms around her shaking frame, Levi thinks he doesn't care anymore. He doesn't care whether it is Peter Rollen or Petra Ral, they're both the same entity and he'd fallen for them all the same.

In the short period of time he'd known them, he already figured there's something different about them. How they'd avoid cold drinks every 3rd week of the month, how they'd refuse to to swim even though they are at Erwin's pool party, how their build is surprisingly smaller than Armin's.

"Don't ever leave me again," he whispers into her ears. "All I could think about ever since you left is you and your stupid smile."

"... I thought you are attracted to man. I'm not a man, in case you hadn't notice."

"I'm attracted to you now so it doesn't matter anymore."

Petra feels a blush growing and is glad her face is hidden from his view. "You're the one who said it. Don't blame me if my feminine hormones make you regret."

"I can still feel the soreness from that flip you did earlier on."

Petra adds another injury to his list when she stomps on his feet with much grace.


End file.
